Letters, Chapters & Moments
Many of you who know me personally know that my family dynamic is one of a kind. My mom and stepdad are the godparents to my dad’s child with his new wife. Wild.
Let’s start with the big picture.
I was fortunate enough not to remember my parents ever being married. It’s weird to say out loud, but I couldn’t ever imagine the two of them together. They divorced when I was three years old. My dad moved into a small apartment in Eden Prairie, while my mom moved back in with my grandparents for a couple of months before she got a townhouse in Chanhassen.
I’m also fortunate enough not to remember life before Ash and Pete were in the picture. I first met Ash when I was 4 years old, and Pete when I was 5 or 6, and the rest ~is history~
My parents have never raised their voices at each other in front of me. I have never seen them fight. In the 18 years since the divorce, all that there ever has been between the two of them is mutual respect. When I was 8, my childhood dog Molly passed away. She was originally my mom and dad’s dog, but my mom got her in the divorce. It was really hard on everyone, and I vividly remember my dad and mom hugging and crying for a long time. I think that’s when it clicked with me how lucky I am to have parents who are so emotionally mature for my sake.
As I get older, I realize how hard it must have been for my parents to go through something as emotionally heavy as a divorce, but they still put on a brave face for the sake of my childhood. That is the ultimate sacrifice I will never be able to repay them for.
My mom and Pete got married in the spring of 2013 on the beautiful Sanibel Island, Florida. I am not going to sit here and act like I didn’t throw a tantrum when Pete proposed to my mom. It was never personal; I ADORED Pete. He did and still does so much for me. But it was when I realized it would never just be my mom and me ever again, which was hard for me to understand at the age of 7.
My dad and Ash got married in the spring of 2014 in Key West, Florida. If you know my parents, it was one big party. We rented a beautiful Airbnb with a pool, and I had a ball. I don’t remember as much, other than my dad was sweating through his suit on the beach, and it was a small ceremony.
Fast forward a few years, and my mom had Maggie and Joey. A few years after that, my dad and Ash had Mateo. Somehow, I went from being an only child to an older sister of 3.
“Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.”
My parents are the definition of villagers. They moved a mile apart to make my life easier. They constantly drove me back and forth between houses when I forgot something (especially St. Hubert uniforms). And they would do anything for each other’s children. Maggie, Joey and Mateo think they are cousins. It will always be Aunt Kara and Uncle Pete. Now with all of them at St. Hubert’s, they all spend so much time together. My dad literally watched Maggie and Joey for an entire week, so my mom and Pete could celebrate their anniversary in Florida.
If there is one thing that has shaped my values today, it will always be the way my parents and family treat each other. I would not be who I am today without these people.
Life is too short for grudges.
