Senior Sunday Scaries

I wrote this post late last Sunday (September 13, 2026) and figured I would wait until the next Senior Sunday Scaries, which is today (September 20, 2026). Eek!!!

Sunday, September 13

Sunday Scaries

I’ve been meaning to write recently, but time has gotten away from me, and I haven’t quite been able to verbalize how I am feeling in a way that makes sense to anyone but me. I am currently lying in bed watching the Giants vs. Cowboys Sunday Night Football game, trying to wrap my head around the best two weekends ever. Last weekend (Labor Day), I made it back home for the state fair and a classic German smoked meat dinner, followed by bad decisions at Maynards. That place will never be chill. Ever.

But that weekend I realized how lucky I am to have two places that feel like home. Leaving Kansas for Minnesota—or Minnesota for Kansas—brings out so many emotions every single time. Little freshman me NEVER thought that I would be sad leaving Kansas. Unfortunately, the senior-year Sunday scaries are really hitting me tonight.

This weekend was the KU/Mizzou football game in Lawrence, which was SO FUN. I haven’t gotten to enjoy football season since freshman year because of the stadium construction sophomore year and working at the stadium last year. It solidified the fact that I made the right choice not to go back to working in the suites to enjoy senior year. Peyton came to visit Ellie, and that girl is the best. That awesome day was followed by Maria and Anna’s shot party, which was probably the best-decorated one we’ve had. Closed down Louise’s West after Sydney and I said we were only going for 30 minutes to show face. Best weekend ever. I love an event where we get to celebrate our friends and everyone gets to come together for it. One of my favorite parts of Kansas is how everyone makes sure that 21st birthdays are special for everyone, and it is such a big event.

But after I got back to Kansas from LDW, I have been hit with a lot of emotions that are making every day feel like the Sunday scaries because I actually cannot handle the fact that this is the last time all of our college friends are going to be in one place. It makes me sick to think about not living in 839 anymore, with all of us spread out in different places across the states. Lawrence and my friends feel so much like home. How lucky am I to have friendships and a LIFE here that bring me as much joy and happiness as my life in Minnesota? LDW was so special to have those lives intersect for a few days, but it also brought out a lot of feelings, too. Thinking about the fact that my college friends are going to visit me in Minnesota postgrad, but I won’t be going back to Lawrence with them afterward, actually makes me ill, you guys. The concept of quite literally everything being different this time next year is making me spiral. I am tearing up and don’t know if I can keep talking about this subject.

Ellie Geiger had a quote for me this weekend: “If I am already this nostalgic now, I can only imagine what I will be like when I’m 70.” And it’s so true. I am going to be 45, coming home from a long day of work, and yearn to go on a flap and listen to She Wouldn’t Be Gone by Blake Shelton. Or I am going to be 60, hungover from an expensive bottle of wine the night before, and all I am going to want to do is sit on the ledge of our porch in the beating sun, listening to Hot Wings from Rio. Help.

Let me know if anyone knows how to combat the senior scaries because I don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life. This quote is cringe, but it’s exactly how I am feeling right now.